Mr Dork's Nonsense

Hello there Faithful Readers

You know, they say you've not made it till someone attacks you, and it's come to my attention that I'm being attacked! Eek, I hear you cry! Ee gads! And other such scary noises.

It seems a former employee of Outpost Skaro has written a nasty blog about me, and all the evil things I've done. This fella, sinister apparently, called Mr Dark (yeah, not really a name that, more of a, whatsitcalled, ah, that's it... not a name...), is going on about how evil I've been. Apparently it's evil to say I know people like David Tennant or Russell T Davies. It's evil to say I work on Doctor Who! It's evil to say things like that. Jeesh. Well, that's easy sorted. Let's repent. Have I spoken to David Tennant recently? Nope. I wouldn't know how to, except through his agent. What about Rusty? Nope, not a peep. Same thing really. Actually, that last one isn't true... I did get a nice rejection-for-an-interview reply because he was too busy. I'm sorry if this makes me Jack the Ripper.

See, what happened, in all honesty, was this. And, you know what, it's ancient history, so my apologies if it's not word perfect. Winding up some trolls on a forum a few years ago, things got a bit out of hand, a bit personal, so we pulled the horns in and decided it was all a bit silly and childish. My good friend, Lee Mansfield and I were attacked personally for saying things like, and you may have to sit down because it's so shocking "We know what happens in next week's Doctor Who!" I know! I'm such a bastard! Anyway, it all got silly, so we decided to grow up. Mr Dark, however, well, he didn't grow up. He did what he does, and set up some blogs, blogs slandering a bunch of "high profile fans" on what was then Outpost Gallifrey. Like the one he's now done for me (should I be honoured?), they were slanderous, hateful and basically makes him look like a bit of a lonely sociopath with few real friends, but at Outpost Skaro we really thought things had gone too far. We asked him to stop. Well, to be honest, we asked who he was. Cos, see, my names Eddie McGuigan - THIS is my google profile, and, yes, that's my big daft old face in a really bad hat. It says what I am and what I've done. It says where I've been - six months in Japan as a teenager learning karate and six months in LA as an adult in the 90s trying and failing to be a tv writer - but it's very me. Anyway, all the Admin on Outpost Skaro know each other properly - we're all on each other's Facebooks, for instance, we speak on the phone most weeks, text, do podcasts, and some of us meet up for a beer if we're local. So we asked Dark to tell us who he was. Curiously, he wouldn't. Turns out he was having an affair with a married forum member, so, to be honest, we didn't push it. But, well, it was a bit unnerving.

But when the blogs started to get more unhinged and abusive, and involved a lot more people from around fandom, we decided enough was enough. The former owner of Outpost Skaro basically sacked him. He then made an abusive post in the forum. That same former owner then banned him. Next thing, here he is on Blogger, networking and talking to himself and creating a myriad of blogs to get himself up the rankings so that it makes it look like I'm... well... what? To me, it makes me look a little bit like a big mouth - and to quote the Doctor, judging by the evidence I certainly have a gob - and have been doing a bit of name dropping. Sorry. My bad. To be honest, the more people got wound up, the more we wound them up, it was just a joke... but, in the end, it was this... ahem, *clears throat* - US TALKING ABOUT DOCTOR WHO AND WHETHER CERTAIN MONSTERS WERE COMING BACK OR NOT! That's what the conversations were about, that's what the arguments were. Honestly. That childish. Yeah, it got out of hand and yeah it got personal. It was also, wait for it, three years ago. At the same time that the admins of Skaro were trying to hold Mr Dark's blog-fetishes back I discovered that odd, unused "Profiles" of me were appearing all over the place - distasteful ones on dating sites and sex sites. It had Mr Dark written all over them. Nothing at all to do with me. But it seems this is all that's in his mind. Filth written in the (entirely innocent) comment pages of Angry Who Fan was authored by Dark too, about myself, AWF, other Who fans, other Skaro members... and that was the final straw.

The guy has been banned from every forum going. When he does return he usually lasts six months or so before being banned again. He actually has to pop up in other guises - his favourite being The Comedian. But, the thing is, that's ironic, because, it IS actually funny. If it wasn't for the fact that he's talking about my children, miscarriages, and alleging some kind of sexual deviancy I would have ignored it. Because whether I have a degree or not, or two, or where I live, or don't, or who I know, or don't, is all a bit pointless. I think thirty odd interviews and a myriad of verified reviews prove I'm not making anything up. But the irony here is that here I am - on my profile, in my forum, in this blog, on Twitter, being me, and if you get to know me better, you'll see my facebook too - just a normal bloke, no one special, and I'm being libelled by a man with no name and no face and no identity at all. My own, apparently, stops in 1992. Yeah, I'm on Friends Reunited folks and I didn't update it. I hear that's a hanging offence in Darkworld.

So, faithful friends, I'm sorry for the blog rant - it's my only words on this nonsense, so please indulge me. Mr Dark is someone who tried to be our friend and didn't know how to. When he became sick and abusive we got rid of him - that's a WE incidentally, the WHOLE OF Outpost Skaro - and he now sits alone, occasionally arguing with people in forums til he gets banned and occasionally rattling his blog and replying to himself with dummy ones. But in all that time, in all these years, when I'm here, my face, my town, my age, my job, all out there, all real, who is he? Where is he? Well, apart from Leeds. If it's SO important to him that everyone is open and honest (and incidentally, I'm so lilly white I have a Disclosure Scotland certificate and have carried it for the last ten years!), why is he hiding behind a shadowy profile picture, with no biog, no name, no personality? Surely, to expose someone, you should really be lilly white yourself? The whole thing smacks of "if I can't play with your toys, then I'm going to smash them". Jealousy and loneliness are terrible things aren't they? I feel a bit sorry it's ended up like that, cos he's clever enough to have been part of the reviews and interviews and all the great stuff that we do at Outpost Skaro, but instead sits in a blog on his own being rude about people from behind a mask.

But check me out. I have my own stalker! Isn't he soooo cute? He has a bad temper, bullies women, has no friends and won't even meet me face to face and everything! He's like a real one, only with no balls. Aw, diddums. What a wee cutie. Criticising someone for being an abusive fraud whilst being an abusive fraud. He's almost unbelievably not real. AND the big joke is that, most of the stuff, it's bollocks! He's either made it up or badly researched it! Can we put him in a wee box with airholes and give him bits of cheese? Can I put a wee coat on him? Aw look, he has shiny eyes and everything!!! It's almost, em, what's that word... Ironic!

Irony, eh? That's your friend.

Happy times and places

Ed (Who has never lived in Glasgow and has TWO children)
The TRUTH Is Out There
And here